Battle between Packy and The Abuser

Lead-up to the battle
Packy traversed through Hell and the Styx river, for he was unyielding in the face of death and despair. He was tracking his foe: The domestic abuser. Packy sought righteousness, and knew he could not let The Abuser continue with his sins. Packy was both fire and ice, night and day, light and darkness, who sought retribution for those who had fallen. The Abuser and Packy finally met face-to-face atop Hell's highest peak, Dragonskull Summit.

Chapter 1: A battle in Hell
Packy: "Your path of hatred and malice has come to an end, fiend. Fleeing to the underworld to escape valor... It was both cowardly and ultimately useless."

The Abuser: "You fool! You have walked straight into my trap... I knew you couldn't resist fighting me. Like a fly to a corpse you followed me, draining your strength, witnessing enough death and agony to render you broken. I have become stronger in the darkness and flame. I will strip the flesh from your bones!"

* The Abuser unviels a 50 ft. long vampire bloodsword*

The Abuser: "May darkness triumph over all good things."

* The Abuser swings the bloodsword into Packy's neck. Packy flexes his neck muscles just as the sword collides with his flesh. The sword shatters into a thousand pieces, bursting into a ball of flame and ash. Packy leaps forward unscathed.*

Packy: "It may not!"

* Packy raises his gauntlet of searing suns*

Packy: "Your wretched blade cannot pierce my thick skin."

The Abuser: "O̮͚̟͙͙̗̞ͦ̽p̦͙͓̹̜͇ͧ͞ě҉̫̣͕ņ̻͉͙͈̹ ̽͗u̯̍̿ͩ͌̓ͫn͉̬̜̲̠̲ͥͨ̾ͩ̽̚͞t̺̬o̞̻͉ͨͪͭͣ ̤̣̗̜͚ͫ̊̒ͧ͡m̜̜̿ͤè̴ͧ͗ͤ̑̅ ̮̻̙̙̫ͨ̓̎͊͆ͅṯ͔͒ͣͦ͒͗̃̑h̜͔̲ͪę̱̘̹͕̩͈̀ͤ̓͐̓ ̠̭̥͓̭̥͚̓̍ͤͮ̒̍w҉̺̺͚̗̲a̵̞̻̝͔̰ͤ͒ͩ͛y̸̞͇͉ͣͣ aͮͬ͒́́cͮr̢͎ỡ̥͇̘̦͙̠͙̽s̙̫ͫ͂ͥͪ̇͢ṣ̠͓̲̲̟ ̾̉̈́͐͏͍̰̻̣̥a̜̺̪̿ͣn̥͕͍͉̘̰͋̅͒̿͛̚ͅg̖͓̳̠̳͍̏ͅl̸̥̤̥̰ͧe͕̙͔͉̫͎̓̃̊̅̀d̠͇̣͈͍ ̻̜̯͚̟̱́͡t͖̲̯̅ͧ̂i̧͒͛ͪ͗̆̑͒m̯̝͈̟̓͋̚͟êͮ͛ͩ ̦̘̘͇͙̝̜͒̉͂ͪ̇̐aͬ͑n̤̒ͩ̔̚͜d̤͒̓̀ ̦͂ͫcur̎v̲͉̪ͫ̈ͪ̉̽ͅȇ̜͈ͭ͌̏ͫͯ̽͜d̜͋ͬ̑̿ ͧ̊͆ͩs̟̹̼̖̘̄͒͌̏̑̉ͬp̓ͥͬ͏̗ä͉͇̱̼͈̟́͝c͚͕̘̱̜͆͐͊ͯͣ̀e̝̙͂̂ͭ̚,̰̝̫͎̲̜̙̋̒̔̒͛ ̔ͮ̑ͫ̎̎ͣ͜l̮͇͒͆́͊̌ͬ͠ͅe̳͔̗t̮͖̩̖̤͍̍̿͡ ̫̤̜̜̯̒ͫ̿̊ͅt̘͚͓͇̔̌̊ͯḥ̝̊̈̆́e͗̉̈͘ ̿̉̑̄p̷͙͔̣͔̂ͅͅͅaͣ̽̿̑̈̈́̆s̱̖͙͖̄ͦs̘͔͌ͣ̈́̏́͡aͣ͆̈̐ͩͧģ̪͍̗̬̝̒ͯͬ̂ͮ̑e͕̹͓͂ ̺̤̝̠̦b̼͇̞̠̍̄ͧ̐ͫͅe̻͔̖͎̹̙͙͘ ͐̊͗ͯͫ͗͏͎͈̹f̹ͣ̊̃ͧ̚͡ȓ̊̄ͥ̑̏҉̜͓͙̘̤͓e̢̱͔̫̮͐̎̿e̯̰͇͈̹̯ͪ͐͒̎ ̰̙̞̱̅̇͋ͩ͋ͫù̺̥͇͚͆ͨ̊̎n̺̟̄́́̿ͯͫt̸ͮ̎̈ͬ̈́ͥ̚o̸̥͓̩̩̹͈̔̅ͫ ͈̂̐̚t̖͑̇̍h̦̰ͦ̏͑̐ͪ̄e̜̺̔͗̈ ̵͎̋ͩ̈́̎͊̇̌C̴̦̲̞͍ͤ͐͂̆͛ͯr̥̙̜̩͈̜̱̈́͋̀a̲̗̯ͯͥ̅̿͒ͪwͮ̈͆ͯ҉l̰̲̩̃̓͊ͯ̿͡i̫̻ͤ̇͂ͥͩ̐ͤͅn͓̫̅̽g͍̤̖̮̩͊̀ͬ ̘̜͓̏̇C̳̜͗̅̅̈̕h̴͙̣̣̮͎̦a͇̖̼̼ͮ̓̿̽̾ö̍ͨͪͯ̇͘s̻͖͉͍̙̪͌!"

* A tear in reality appears, and out pour hoards of unimagined cosmic horrors, followed by Nyarlathotep, the Crawling Chaos.*

Packy: "Summoning an army to hide behind? Very well. I have already slaughtered every demon who has crossed my path, you are merely delaying the inevitable."

* Packy slays swaths of tentacled monstrosities with his fists, tearing their flesh to shreds and banishing them from existence. Before Packy laid an army of heaving, chittering flesh. Behind packy laid acres of ashes, bone and sinew. Packy cuts through the army of the damned like a hot knife through butter. The horrors began to feel fear for the first time.*

The Abuser: "You cannot last forever down here. Soon your stamina will drain and you will be left lifeless before me."

Packy: "My stamina is infinite, because now my family is involved."

* Packy throws his fist into the ground, his gauntlet releases a piercing beam of sunlight from the earth, vaporizing all of the remaining cosmic horrors. A Horrible shape emerges from the ashes. It is Nyarlathotep. Nyarlathotep begins to speak in a horrible tongue which would wrench the mind of a normal human.*

Nyarlathotep: "I am Nyarlathotep, The Crawling Chaos, The God of the Bloody Tongue, The Black Pharaoh, The Masked Messenger, The Skinless One, who will bring insanity and corruption to all things living, for no mortal can resist the power of the outer gods. Prepare to meet a fate beyond death."

* Nyarlathotep defiles reality and tears a hole in space, consuming Packy, Nyarlathotep and The Abuser. They find themselves outside of the universe, battling on the skin of the slumbering Blind Idiot God Azathoth.*

Chapter 2: A battle in the Heavens
Nyarlathotep: "How could you survive being brought to this dimension?"

Packy: "Hah! You fools... I may be Human, But I too, am an outer god."

* Packy lunges at Nyarlathotep, Bringing him down to the ground. Nyarlathotep tries to assume a new form, but Packy has him pinned. The Abuser leaps onto Packy, pulling him from Nyarlathotep*

The Abuser: "Firey fists of abusive fury!"

* The Abuser punches packy in the face hundreds of times in a second*

Packy: "My... Skin.. Is... THICK!"

* Packy catches The Abuser's fist, then grabs him by the neck. He hurls The Abuser's body into Nyarlathotep, cutting straight through him like a bullet. Nyarlathotep shrivels to the ground, and then retreats into the blackness of the Cosmos.*

The Abuser: "Not thick enough. I have more principal experience than you do!"

* The Abuser shapeshifts into a human bullet and slams into Packy. Packy is catapulted off of Azathoth's skin and into the cosmic pool of Azathoth's dreams. The Abuser and Packy exchange blows as they fall for hours into the universe.*

Chapter 3: Guidance of Christ
Packy: "You may be a Principal, but I have made a good impression on my community. I am a #ChristianEducator."

* Jesus, God, Moses and the Virgin Mary appear at Packy's side.*

God: "Let there be light"

* God fires a holy lightning bolt into The Abuser's eyes*

Jesus: "Time for Christ's holy blessing"

* Jesus roundhouse kicks The Abuser while blinded by god's light.*

Moses: "Time to split up."

* Moses splits space into a portal to Israel. The Abuser's body is flung through the portal as it is closed behind him.*

Virgin Mary: "Come with me Packy, I know who can show you how to defeat The Abuser."

* Virgin Mary holds Packy's hand, and they teleport to heaven.*

Chapter 4: Return of the Sensei
* Packy wakes up in Heaven, and looks up to see his former ascended masters. Master Oogway himself.*

Master Oogway: "You have fought well, Packy. But there is only one way you can defeat The Abuser."

Packy: "Master! It has been so long! How could I defeat such a powerful foe?"

Master Oogway: "A powerful fighting technique. Older than all of Kung-Fu. It was used to push back the Mongols from China. It ended the Warring States period. No human weapon, of any grand design, not even the machines that could reduce the earth to rubble in a cleansing wave of atomic fire and boiling oceans can compare to it."

Packy: "Tell me Master, what is it?"

Master Oogway: "The Wuxi finger hold."

Packy: "Master! I thought the finger hold was only legend!"

Master Oogway: "It is very real. As real as you and I."

* Packy and Master Oogway resume the training they did together many millenia ago, and by unlocking the secrets of the Dragon Scroll, Packy learned Kung-Fu's most powerful fighting technique.

Master Oogway: "I believe you are ready. Farewell, Packy. You are now the Kung-Fu Master. Wield your power with all your wisdom and strength."

* Packy marches towards the Stairway to Heaven*

Packy: "May the final battle begin."

Chapter 5: Gods have nothing on New Yorkers
* Packy arrives in the streets of New York City*

Packy: "I know he is near. I smell him."

Po: "Hey packy, Oogway sent me. I'd be honored to help you fight the abuser, I've needed something to do after beating up Tai Lung. Skadoosh!"

Packy: "I am Honored that you have come to aide me in this battle of the ages. But we may need more help, for I fear that even the power of the Dragon Warrior and I are not enough to beat the Abuser."

* The Teen Mutant Ninja Turtles burst out of the sewers*

Raphael: "If this outer god fool thinks he can step on us New Yorkers, He'd better think again."

Michelangelo: "Yeah, where is this slimeball? I'll kick his tush if he thinks he's boss of the big apple."

Packy: "Looks like just the strength we need."

* Thanos, Sans Undertale and Luis Fonzi appear in the center of New York, creating a destructive fireball. Just behind them, The Abuser comes into form.*

The Abuser: "Long time no see, Packy. Looks like you've made some friends. Guess we'll have to skin them as well. I hope you brought more than some pathetic gains, because you're about to feel some abuse. Kill him, Thanos."

Thanos: "As you wish."

* Thanos swings the infinity gauntlet up to Packy's face, but Packy bites his finger.*

Packy: "Close, but no cigar."

* Packy takes a puff from a cigar, then crunches his teeth together, shattering the infinity gauntlet.*

Thanos: "Impossible! No mortal could ever defeat me!"

* Packy grabs Thanos by the neck, and then hurls him into the sun*

Sans Undertale: "Hey I'm sans from Undertale."

* Donatello catches sans by surprise, swinging his Bo staff into his eye socket.*

Donatello: "Chew on this, you bag of bones!"

Leonardo: "This one's for master splinter."

* Donatello and Leonardo tackle Sans, but Sans blasts them off. Michealangelo and Raphael follow closely behind, jumping onto Sans before he can get back off the ground."

The Abuser: "I see your friends have a had some decent training. Luis, sing Despacito."

Luis Fonzi: "

☀Ay

Fonsi DY Oh Oh no, oh no Oh yeah Diridiri, dirididi Daddy Go

Sí, sabes que ya llevo un rato mirándote Tengo que bailar contigo hoy (DY) Vi que tu mirada ya estaba llamándome Muéstrame el camino que yo voy (Oh)

Tú, tú eres el imán y yo soy el metal Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan Solo con pensarlo se acelera el pulso (Oh yeah)

Ya, ya me está gustando más de lo normal Todos mis sentidos van pidiendo más Esto hay que tomarlo sin ningún apuro

Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo

Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube)

Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (Diridiri, dirididi Daddy)

Si te pido un beso ven dámelo Yo sé que estás pensándolo Llevo tiempo intentándolo Mami, esto es dando y dándolo Sabes que tu corazón conmigo te hace bom, bom Sabes que esa beba está buscando de mi bom, bom Ven prueba de mi boca para ver cómo te sabe Quiero, quiero, quiero ver cuánto amor a ti te cabe Yo no tengo prisa, yo me quiero dar el viaje Empecemos lento, después salvaje

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando poquito a poquito Cuando tú me besas con esa destreza Veo que eres malicia con delicadeza

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Y es que esa belleza es un rompecabezas Pero pa montarlo aquí tengo la pieza

Despacito Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito Deja que te diga cosas al oído Para que te acuerdes si no estás conmigo

Despacito Quiero desnudarte a besos despacito Firmo en las paredes de tu laberinto Y hacer de tu cuerpo todo un manuscrito (sube, sube, sube) (Sube, sube)

Quiero ver bailar tu pelo Quiero ser tu ritmo Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Déjame sobrepasar tus zonas de peligro Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido

Despacito Vamos a hacerlo en una playa en Puerto Rico Hasta que las olas griten "¡ay, bendito!" Para que mi sello se quede contigo

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Que le enseñes a mi boca Tus lugares favoritos (favoritos, favoritos baby)

Pasito a pasito, suave suavecito Nos vamos pegando, poquito a poquito Hasta provocar tus gritos Y que olvides tu apellido (DY) Despacito."

* The Abuser gains a powerful strength aura, and then reveals his secret weapon*

Packy: "No.. It cannot be."

The Abuser: "That's right. A word doc with pictures of you and the cover art of Cory in the House."

Packy: "You will pay for this. Now that my family is involved... That's where I cross the line. AAAHHHHHHHHH"

Po: "Let me lend you a hand, brother."

* Packy enters rage mode, and Po uses his seismic chest bump to launch Packy into the air. Packy flies towards the Abuser, and as their bodies collided, so did fists and fury. For five hours, the sky above New York was bathed in fire, the sun was replaced by rage and vengeance. The clouds parted, and the sea boiled. Soon the Hero and the Villain were reaching the end of their strengths. Packy thought to himself throughout the fight. His body had reached a trance-like state of fighting. Each blow the Abuser delivered, Packy recycled back to the Abuser, which he in turn recycled back to Packy. They began to juggle a physical ball of growing wrath. It was then, that packy remembered Oogway's wisdom. Finally, Packy let the blow come through to him. An unearthly jolt of energy surged through Packy, his skin glowed like the core of the sun. A shockwave from the blast shattered almost all of the windows in New York. Soon the Dust settled, and Packy stood face-to-face with the Abuser once more.*

The Abuser: "Give up. Your strength is spent. You have no chance of beating me now. You are done for."

Packy: "Not yet."

* The Abusers eyes drifted down from Packy's face. Packy held the Abuser's pointer finger in his hand, with his pinkie sticking straight into the air.*

The Abuser: "No..."

* Packy does the Wuxi finger hold on the Abuser, Vaporizing him instantaneously.*

Packy: "Ska Doosh. Our work is done here, boys."

* Packy, Po and the Ninja Turtles walk off into the Horizon, to find and destroy evil another day.*